Four Stages Of Becoming Mentally Strong

So, I get these beautiful blogs in my email and I share them here… this is so I can go back to reminisce and soak it all in whenever I feel the need anytime…and…so, here is one of my favorite I will visit time again…

Did you know there are stages of becoming mentally strong? Four of them to be exact.

Stage One – Unconscious Incompetence

To begin with, we’re so caught up in our patterns of thought and behaviour that we don’t even know we’re caught up in them. But they still cause us to suffer. We play out the same unhelpful patterns over and over again.

Stage Two – Conscious Incompetence

As we practice cultivating mental strength a little more, we start to become aware of our thoughts, emotions and behavioural patterns and how they are affecting us.

This is often the trickiest phase of competence. It can be uncomfortable to become more aware of the unhelpful patterns we have and the suffering they cause when we have not yet developed our mental strength enough to be able to set ourselves free from them.  

Stage Three – Conscious Competence

As mental strength becomes familiar and we get the hang of it, difficult thoughts and feelings still arise but we are no longer so identified with them. 

We have learned to be the observer of our thoughts, to allow them to arise and pass without always disturbing our inner state. We are able to respond with awareness instead of reacting out of habit. 

Stage Four – Unconscious Competence 

At some point along the way after a prolonged period of consistently practising mental strength skills, it just becomes ‘second nature’ to be resilient, present, wise and non-reactive, and empowered. 

To some degree, mental strength becomes effortless, or without too much effort, in the same way that driving a car becomes effortless after a lot of practice.

To some degree, mental strength becomes effortless, or without too much effort, in the same way that driving a car becomes effortless after a lot of practice. 

I explain more about the four stages on this week’s episode of the Mentally Stronger podcast, and I share two key tips to support you through the toughest phases of your personal growth. 

You can read more here, or watch here or listen here (approximately 11 minutes).

Take care and stay strong.

Written by Melli O’Brian. https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/#start

PS. If you’d like to take your mental strength to the next level and enter 2023 with more resilience, confidence and joy then Melli invites you to come and join her in her new 8-week training course Headstrong. You can learn more here.